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I know what it’s like to have your heart split down the middle.
One-half chases her. The other half chases after the lies, deceit, and betrayal.
It’s a burning ball of hell.
Seconds, minutes, hours, and years all spent endured the depth of my own burning inferno.
All of it runs together while life passes me by.
Thirteen years ago, the woman I was in love with left me standing at the altar.
Hurt.
Broken.
Humiliated.
Some say thirteen is a lucky number.
Me? I curse the number.
Now she’s back.
Reminding me.
Torturing me.
She says things are not what they seem.
That they weren't then either.
Do I believe her?
Do I forgive?
Forget?
Time and truth will tell.
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My insides shake as she walks out with a warm breeze only to be replaced by the freezing
chills and the ice cold stare of Jude. He shuts the door behind him, stands firmly in place and stares me down.
“That intimidating look may work well on the criminals you pick up; I assure you, Jude, it will not work on me. Now, what can I help you with?” Yes, I know that Tyson and his friends are cops. I know everything there is to know about him. He left as planned for the Army shortly after I left him. He’s a womanizer. Sleeps around, drinks and gets into fights. He’s angry, bitter and out of control and it all reflects back on me. I’ve studied the symptoms of a broken person. I’m one myself.
I know very little about his time at war. I’m sure some of his anger stems from there. I feared for his life every day. Kept up with the news and terror weighed on my shoulders every second he was deployed. I’m so proud of him for what he’s done with his life. Coming from a young kid with the odds of turning into a criminal stacked against him to a man of honor. A soldier turned cop. I couldn’t ask for a better man than him.
I still haven’t been able to let him go. The man I left lives in the tattered mess of my heart, and I never stopped praying our lives would have been different, that fate wouldn’t have snuck up on me and kicked my feet right out from under me. Stole our chance at happiness. I’ve loved Tyson
since the first day I laid my eyes on him. Through time and therapy, I thought I would be able to stop loving him. That there was no way, love could be this strong that months, years and a decade later it would still linger. The precious memories I kept locked away swarmed to the forefront of my mind the minute I saw him again. Stolen kisses, bodies tangled together. Our hearts so full of promises to one another. I broke them all. Broke him. Broke me. I’m here to fix it. Somehow.
I remain calm matching Jude’s gaze while every cell in my body is a quivering mess. My stomach shifts uneasily and sweat breaks out at the nape of my neck. But, I will not falter or allow him to see that his presence is terrifying me.
“When Tyson first told me it was you I didn’t want to believe it. I prayed for you to disappear, to crawl back under your rock and stay the hell away from him. Now after seeing what this is doing to him. I’ve changed my mind. Before I get into why I think you owe me an explanation as
to what your plans are, I want you to know I’m standing here not trying to intimidate you. I’m here to tell you if your reasons are not legit. I will fucking destroy you.” Good luck. You can’t destroy something that’s already broken.
USA Today Best Selling Author Kathy Coopmans is a Michigan native where she lives with her husband, Tony. They have two son's Aaron and Shane.
She is a sports nut. Her favorite sports include NASCAR, Baseball, and Football.
She has recently retired from her day job to become a full-time writer.
She has always been an avid reader and at the young age of 50 decided she wanted to write. She claims she can do several things at once and still stay on task. Her favorite quote is "I got this."
Website: http://www.authorkathycoopmans.com/
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Twitter: @authorkcoopmans
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