To Have & Hate - Donna Alam

TO HAVE & HATE by Donna Alam
Release Date: August 8th

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Beckett. Let me count the ways I loathe him.

1. He’s the bane of my existence.
2. A thorn in my side.
3. And I’m pretty sure he’s the devil in disguise.

1. 
   
   So why am I standing here, bouquet in hand, about to become his wife?
   He calls it a business proposition.
   I call it blackmail.
   He says our fighting is foreplay.
   I say he should be on meds.
   He says he has the power to destroy my company,
   I say with a husband like him, who needs enemies?
   But I can survive this six-month calamity.
   All I have to do is keep hating him . . .

He dips his head, his lips just a breath from my ear, a bloom of heated anticipation bursting in response at my core. I can’t explain my body’s reaction. My head and my senses at war. I don’t even like him, so how come I’m so turned on?

His breath tantalises my ear, my own clouding, then evaporating against the cool glass as silence trickles between us, building heat and need.

‘You were so wet.’ His whisper is the bedroom kind and without taunt or harsh inflection. And that feeling inside me? It almost bursts. ‘Admit it. You wanted me to fuck you right there on the back seat.’

‘Does that turn you on?’ My answer sounds more strangled than I’d like it to as I turn to face him, head on. ‘Did it get you hot to leave me there? Is that your kink?’

I turn my head and am met by those startling eyes, flecks of amber dancing like fire, or maybe the souls of the damned. But in the face of my taunting questions, Beckett just smirks.

‘That’s really bothering you, isn’t it? Don’t worry, sweetheart. You are irresistible. Well, almost.’

‘And I stand by my previous statement. You’re a prick.’

‘I’m the prick who’d put money on the fact you’re wet now, too.’

‘No, you’re the prick who might have found out on both occasions if you were anyone but you.’

‘Perhaps I decided one night would never be enough.’

‘So you propose?’ I reply with a disbelieving snort.

‘Perhaps I couldn’t trust myself with you.’ His hand lifts from the glass, the back of his knuckle ghosting my brow, my cheek, my jaw. And like a fool, I allow him.

‘Haven’t we already established that flattery will get you absolutely nowhere with me?’

‘Come now, I don’t think that’s true. You were certainly open to a little adoration Friday night.’

‘Exactly. I might’ve put out. So why push me away only to then ask me to marry you?’

‘The two things are separate. Our marriage would be a business proposition with all details laid out in a contract.’

‘You have problems.’ Instead of pushing him away, my insults seem to be having the opposite effect and have brought him closer. And why am I allowing him to take my laptop bag out of my hand?

‘There are many forms of gratification, Olivia.’

‘Meaning you get your kicks out of tormenting women?’ I ask saccharine sweet.

‘Don’t do that,’ he says, his fierce brows now pinched. ‘Don’t pretend to be something you’re not.’ His words sting like a reprimand, but I don’t have the chance to retort as his index finger tips my chin, his eyes searching every inch of my face. ‘What happened that night has nothing to do with my offer. But make no mistake, I did want to fuck you. I do.’

The fire inside me changes in that instant. I can’t make sense of it, but I’m no less angry. And then in the most bizarre of moments, he dips his head and slides his lips against mine. And even more bizarre than that, I let him.

I have officially lost my mind, and if it hadn’t left my skull already, I think the heat in his kiss would’ve melted it down anyway. His lips are soft yet masterful. No tentative swipes or delicate presses here. I shiver as his finger loops under the strap of my purse and slips it from my shoulder like underwear sliding off my hips. Lord knows as it hits the floor, I wish it was.

‘I still hate you,’ I whisper into his kiss.

His chuckle is low and rough as he rasps, ‘I’m counting on it.’